Donuts in the Blink of an Eye

For the past few weeks, that's right: weeks, we've been trying to get to Blinkie's Donut Emporium at 4884-86 Topanga Cyn Blvd in Woodland Hills. However, Blinkie's is only open from 5 am until noon on the weekends, and getting up, showered, and out the door before noon is not as easy as it should be for two adults who don't go out anymore and generally fall asleep on the couch during an intense "Law & Order: SVU" marathon. But this past weekend we actually managed to get up early (at 11 a.m.) and make it to Blinkie's before the closed (at 11:45 a.m. - we skipped showering just to ensure we wouldn't miss out on more delightful donuts).
As we entered we were yelled at by the woman behind the counter with so many words I haven't heard in such a long time that I was nearly too overwhelmed to respond. I know what you're thinking: who does that? And why? The answers are: really friendly people and because they're excited to see new faces. We were showered with "Baby Boy", "Honey", "Love" and a few more cutsie terms I dare not type for fear of nauseating myself with too much sweetness.
But, I'm getting off track: on to the donuts!

I got a chocolate frosted one with toasted coconut and Nate scooped up a maple frosted donut and a medium coffee all for $3.45. Both donuts were moist and tasty, as donuts should be. The chocolate frosted one was not as chocolatey as I would have liked, but the crunchy coconutty topping more than compensated for that. The maple one was maplescious and not overly sweet. The coffee was also above average (and for those of you who, like me, prefer lattes, or "fancy" coffee there is a Starbucks right across the street from Blinkie's).
And for all our Jewish friends for whom Hanukkah is starting tomorrow Blinkie's makes Hanukkah Jelly donuts. We didn't try them and we're not sure what makes them good for Hanukkah (other than the powdered star of David), but if they're anything like the other donuts they're pretty damn good.

Happy Holidays!
- Lindsey

GRAB YOUR PASPORT BITCH!!!!!.....'cause we're goin to France

I'd personally like to apologize to everyone of you nice people who take the time to follow all of our zany delicious adventures in super amazing fatitude. We are lazy. you're probably thinking, "how can you two be so lazy that you can't even take the time to eat donuts, drink coffee and then write about it?" Well you know what, as human beings we have to make priorities in life. Sometimes it's more important to watch the original Law and Order from start to finish than it is to eat donuts and be fat. So that is our pathetic excuse. Granted we haven't really finished Law and Order yet, we might be half way through, but none of that matters anymore because you've already forgiven us. And now on to paragraph two.

I'm sure you're wondering about the title so I'll just come out and tell you. We flew across the Atlantic to get delicious yums at France Donuts.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you people are so gullible sometimes, but that's why we love you. And I would also like to add that we love Lindsey for knowing how to mess around with pictures and stuff. France donuts is actually right down Sherman Way, just a couple blocks east of Canooga Blvd. It's not really very France at all either. I mean, there's no berets, no cigarette holders, no funny accents, the only thing they have goin for them is croissants, and those usually come with bacon egg and cheese. But the donuts and coffee...they deserve their own paragraph.

This time around we scooped up a couple of mini-donuts, one strawberry frosted sprinkley thing, Lindsey's, and a brownish maple frosty circle cake, donut. The pink frosty sprinkle thing was pretty good, or would have been if it was a plain frosted donut. You see, the real problem was that the sprinkley strawberry frosting just didn't have enough strawberry flavor to be picked up on after the donut and plain sugar flavors smash you in the mouth with a hammer. I mean, don't get me

wrong, it was a really good donut, just not a good strawberry donut. The Maple one, on the other hand, made a really good maple donut. The great thing about it was that when you when you sink your teeth into its doughy goodness and break through to its vacuous empty center, your mouth is assaulted by the euphoric flavor of maple, delicious maple, mmmmmmmmmmmm. The coffee, nothing really surprising, a good cup of cheap coffee, but with a lid that doesn't make me want to destroy the very universe.

Sorry folks, no drawn out goodbyes this time, we still have about eight seasons of Law and Order to get through and dinner to eat. So, thanks for watching and...TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EXCITING, NAIL BITING, EDGE OF YOUR SEAT, TIP OF YOUR TONGUE, FAST PACED, ACTION PACKED, HARD DRIVING, TOUGH DEALING, SHOOT EM' UP EPISODE OF DONUTS WITH NATE AND LINDSEY
Love and nomins
Nate "rocket pants" Chester

Nothing More American Than Donuts

It seems we've been slacking on our donut consumption lately so this week we ate an excessive amount of donuts, made ourselves ill from sugar overload and then had to take a break from eating donuts. But after that little binge we ventured out to USA Donuts at 7041 Topanga Canyon Blvd.

USA Donuts is conveniently nestled in the same plaza as Red Hot Video and Brake Masters so you can grab donuts, coffee, porn, and get your car fixed all in one place. Pretty magical.
The store itself was pretty standard, however, it did have an espresso machine, and offered real cappuccinos, unlike most donut shops that boast cappuccinos and just have that sludge that comes out of a sack. Plus it offered an option of coffee lids: those of Beelzebub and normal American lids. Nate chose the latter for his small coffee, which was fairly standard in taste and temperature, the likes of which might be found at any gas station in the USA.

As for donuts Nate opted to get a crumb topped one, which he seems to consistently order just to have the opportunity to call the donuts of whatever donut shop we happen to be in crumby. I, on the other hand, decided to mix it up a little and get a crunchy oddly shaped chocolate frosted one (I'm sure this is not what the shop owners would call it, but it works for me). The crumby donut was a bit sweet for Nate, it had been glazed and then crumbed, but my chocolate frosted weirdo was delicious. Just the right amount of chocolate paired with a firm exterior that housed a soft and moist interior (now this is starting to get pornographic. My apologies). The coffee and donuts cost $2.60 all together and with a name like USA Donuts it'd be unpatriotic for us not to patronize them again.
Until next blog: Happy Donuting!
- Lindsey

Another guest blogger. oh yea

Ladies and gentlemen.
This week, it is our great pleasure to present to you, your guest blogger....JESUS, or Nate playing dress up. Halloween is coming

And it is written in the good book that Jesus, me, said "you can give a man a fish and feed him for a day, or you can teach a man to fish unless he has a real job and only has his weekends off in which case I have no problem with him going to the store to get it at a reasonable price." Today, Sunday October 9th at maybe one o'clock-ish. We, Nate and Lindsey, Jesus wasn't complete then, found ourselves at

Winchell's Warm 'n Fresh donuts at 5416 Reseda Blv. in Tarzana.
POW we walked up to the counter, with a show of purpose
WHAM the counter lady had her tongs poised
"coco-nut" Nate says
"chocolate stick thing." Lindsey fires it so fast the lady doesn't even know what to think. then she puts our donuts in the bag.
"One seventy eight" she says, and there's money in my hand then gone. Then change appears and we're out the door. Back to the truck so we can complete Jesus and relax.
Home, Finally. So of course Lindsey had to eat hers in the truck, she just couldn't wait til we got home. Anyway, CHOCOLATE STICK THING.

Wow, easy part first, dough. Just tasty. it had this light sweetness to it, delightful. But the frosting, it was a dark chocolate frosting that wasn't too sweet at all, like when some frostings are like a mouth full of sugar. Again, Wow. But then, COCONUT. There was so much coconut on this thing, and it wasn't glazed so the only thing holding the coconut on was the coconut itself, wrapped around the donut. Perfection, it was zen. And all for a reasonable price.

So if you want a donut even The Risen would come back for, may we just suggest trying Winchell's. And as for Jesus, he's gonna be staying with us for a little while. Probably till after Halloween, so I'm sure you'll see him around, MUAH HA HA HA HA HA.
nAtE

And by the way, because Jesus is around I'm not going to remind Trav that he still hasn't blogged, or that yesterday I woke up and smelled his smelliness and said "damn, ain't that smelly." But we have the spirit of forgiveness, so don't blow it Trav, Jesus doesn't forgive forever. End

mission to the donuts

Nerds, history buffs, and those who can successfully google know that around this date (specifically on October 4th) in 1957 Sputnik, the world's first satellite, was launched into space. To commemorate this moment in history this week we ventured into the unknown territory of Spudnuts at 8225 Topanga Canyon Blvd.

Tucked behind El Pollo Loco, Spudnuts was hardly easy to find. But after circling the parking lot and getting distracted by the bouncy castle in the park across the street (which the eight year old children it belonged to did not appreciate) we finally made our way into Spudnuts. Upon entering we were promptly greeted by a tiny woman who truly appreciated my t-shirt: a gem I got at Mainely Meat BBQ in Bar Harbor, ME that read "Real Girls Eat Meat". After talking to this nice lady for about ten minutes about how vegetarianism and veganism seem impossible: a life without chicken tenders? A life without cheese? How is this possible?! We finally made our donut selection: one vanilla frosted and one blueberry filled. We've mixed it up a little this week in honor of our new milestone: we now have three followers! Woo Hoo!

In addition to the donuts, Nate got a small coffee in spite of the fact that Spudnuts only offered the lids of Lucifer. As far as flavor goes, Nate described the coffee as "typical gas station fare", but they did have real milk to put in it so that's something. The vanilla frosted donut was bordering on too sweet, but it was also bordering on perfect vanilla flavor and perfect donut consistency. The blueberry filled was not overly sweet, as I sometimes find filled donuts to be. It did have canned blueberry filling, which I tend to oppose on principle at least. But it was also fluffy and delicious (aren't most donuts?). The two donuts, and small coffee cost $3.10. Not the cheapest we've gotten, but not too expensive either. They have a buy 5 donuts, get the 6th free deal, but we don't have enough friends to share them with yet/we're not that fat yet. All and all I can say with confidence we'll be returning to the depths of Topanga Canyon Boulevard to conduct more donut research. Until then: happy eating!
- Lindsey

Donuts Dispair and Disapointment

As you can probably tell by the title of this post it hasn't been the best week on record, and since this is partially my blog I'm going to tell you all about and god dammit your going to listen.  Last weekend Lindsey and I went to Alameda to visit Trav and H.P. and we checked out a donut place up their.  Before we went to eat treats we figured it would be cool to have Trav, my brother, be a guest blogger.  Now, I would like to make an official statement, on the record.  "My brother is a Stinky McStinky pants.  He's so stinky that dogs don't even like to smell him.  He's so stinky that people who pump out you septic tank say "god damn, that's stinky."  He's so stinky that given donut's, coffee and pictures, he can't even write a simple donut blog about how donuts and coffee are awesome as beans."  So, brother, I hope this level of public humiliation will tempt you to stop playing call of duty and blog.  And by the way, that fresh unicorn he's rockin', Lindsey and H.P. drew that on him cause he passed out at like 9:30 after drinking tequila, what a smelly smelly kid.  Oh, and I was in a car accident, a very minor one, but that's not nearly as interesting as Trav's stink.  Enough blubbering about smelly kids, TO THE DONUTS. 
     OK.  Today, 9/24/2011 at about 12: 40, your favorite crime duo advanced upon Dragon Donut 8709 Corbin Ave, Northridge for a second assault on the castle.  I'm sure you remember our last attempt to get donuts from the 24 hour donut place, failure.  But today we were better prepared.  Guns blazing, we kicked in the door and were greeted by a very nice asian gentlemen sporting a blue-tooth earpiece.  Interupting his phone call with the threat of violence, we demanded his service and were soon out the door in posetion of a crumby donut and a apple fritter.  Wait, apple fritter???  Yea, that's right.  And all it cost me was $2.00.
     First impressions:
     1.  another creepy stripmall  7-11, liqueur store, taco place
     2.  your basic array of donuts, in different shapes and sizes of course
     Donut number one, my donut, the crumby donut.  I'm still not sure exactly what the crumb is on a crumb donut, but it's amazing.  This particular crumb donut was glazed and then crumbed so there was tone of crumby topping to enjoy.  And enjoy it I did.  I think I ate it in 3 bites, just an all around beautiful experience, like shooting a gun, zen.
     Donut number two, not really a donut at all, the apple fritter.  I gues it should have bee donut number one and then fritter number one, but I'm very stubborn so I'm not going to change it.  I don't know what possessed Lindsey to get an apple fritter, maybe she's just feeling fruity (snicker snicker)  or something.  HEY, STOP HATING.  It was pretty good.  It was very sweet, and appley, and the dough had a nice little chewiness to it that was just delightful.  Lindsey quote time, "it wasn't very appley, wait, it was a good amount of appley-ness, but it was sweet, and heavy, so sweet and heavy that I could only eat half."  But in reality, folks, she microwaved half and made me eat like two thirds of it.  But it was still tasty.
     So after family tomfoolery, highway hi-jinx, and donut deception, it has been an interesting week.  But on the plus side I am in possession of one job.  yea for me.  So like always
     Tune in next time for another exciting adventure of
ADVENTURES IN DONUTS AND COFFEE.  L.A. EDITION  
     starring Nate (whacky pants) Chester, smelly Trav and wonton master Lindsey
                                                                                                        post brought to you by Nate

staying at the donut inn

                Today we woke up bright and early around 11am, and with little milk and almost no cereal in the apartment we had no other choice, but to get donuts for breakfast. By the time we put on our going-out-in-public clothes, watched a few episodes of X-Men (that's the 1990's cartoon, not the newer one where all the X-Men are high school brats) it was about 12:15pm, and definitely time for donuts.

                 A few days ago while on my way to a job interview I happened to pass a place named Dragon Donuts. Needless to say I wanted to go in and grab a few donuts right then and there, but I felt like I was betraying Nate. After all, if I did go in and get a few donuts odds were that none would make it back to the apartment for him to enjoy. I have little self control, and even less when sweet treats are involved. So today we decided to go to Dragon Donuts together. The store boasts that it is open 24 hours. Unfortunately for us, it's not. It's closed form noon to 6:30pm every Sunday. And we just missed them.

              Upset and hungry, we went in search of a new donut destination, and came across the Donut Inn at 20050 Vanowen Street. Like every other donut shop we've been to this one was in a strip mall. No surprise. But it wasn't next to a liquor store, instead it was across the street from a strip club called the Candy Cat Too, which makes sense because stripping is exhausting and what better way to refuel than with donuts and coffee?
              After momentarily pausing to take in the scenery we went into the Donut Inn, and were greeted by a wide selection of donuts and pastries, and a smiling cashier who eagerly grabbed the donuts we pointed to, and a small coffee for Nate all for a cool $2.70. The coffee itself was unimpressive and rather average, the likes of what might be found at your typical gas station. But they did have real creamer, and coffee lids that were made by someone other than Satan so they get extra points for that.

             Then there were the donuts. Again I foolishly selected a small donut. "But, Lindsey", you might ask, "does size really matter?" Yes. Yes it does. And anyone who would say otherwise is a liar or doesn't have enough experience to know any better. The bigger donuts tend to be more light and fluffy and the smaller ones tend to be denser, and these two were no exceptions. The chocolate frosted donut in addition to being light and fluffy was slightly crispy on the outside. It also had "not too much frosting" according to Nate, which for me means that it wasn't chocolatey enough, but he seemed to like it. The miniscule vanilla with coconut one on the other hand, had just enough vanilla and coconut flavor for me, but Nate felt the vanilla overpowered the coconut. I suppose the only way to settle our disputes is to go back to the Donut Inn in the future, or to drag someone else along as a tie breaker.

Until next time, keep eating donuts!

- Lindsey